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Danny then started to put dirt on top of Henry's box. I could tell he was crying, but was trying to hide it from me. He was feeling just as bad as I was. Well, maybe not as bad, but he was pretty choked up about all of this. After he filled the hole with dirt I put the white cross at the top of the grave. I said a few more things and we left for his car. I was so upset that my whole body shook. I wanted to go back and dig up Henry. I wanted to dig him up to make sure that he was dead. But, I knew in my heart he was dead. I was just trying to make myself feel better about it, to distract my mind from thinking about Henry.
I sat in Danny's car and I lost it. I started crying so hard that I couldn't stop. Every now and then I would yell out curse words, cursing the fact that Henry had to die. Not only was it that he had to die, but the way that he died. Then, I started to feel guilt. It was like the whole grieving process was sped up. I was feel guilt and anger because I could have prevented his death. If it wasn't for me, Henry would still be alive today. I couldn't get that though out of my head.
"I know this is a hard time for you. You need to make sure that you take care of yourself," Danny said as he put his arm around me. |
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